Why Some Boys Are Falling Down the Manosphere Rabbit Hole (And What We Can Do About It!)
- Jennifer LaGarde
- 8 minutes ago
- 13 min read
Recently, my inbox and DMs have been filled with messages containing the same images. Sometimes they arrive with a short note like, “Have you seen this?” or “What is happening!??!” Sometimes they come with a worried emoji or GIF (like this one from Schitt's Creek, which is a personal favorite). And a few include stories from teachers and librarians who are noticing something unsettling: boys at school parroting the same "alpha male” rhetoric they are encountering online.
"Boys in my middle school have started calling each other 'subs' or even 'cuckolds.' I don't think they know what this means, but they've heard it on TikTok."
"A parent asked me what to do about their son [in high school] who spends a lot of time watching fitness videos on YouTube and has recently started sharing that he thinks feminism has ruined society and that he wants a wife who 'knows her place.'"
"A 5th grader told his parent that I was trying to 'indoctrinate' the class, because I asked them to read books about famous female scientists during Women's History Month!"
The one thing these messages have in common is that they all reference the data below:
If you are not familiar, a recent international study surveyed more than 23,000 adults across 29 countries about their attitudes toward gender equality. Some of the results have been widely shared online and they are, to put it mildly, unsettling.
As the graphics people have been sending me show, the survey found that Generation Z men are more likely than older generations of men to agree with hierarchical, and in some cases, toxic ideas about gender roles, including beliefs about women’s independence and what it means to be a “real man.” For people who care about kids, gender equality and the state of our world more generally, these charts can feel alarming, especially when the data reinforces what we are noticing in our own classrooms, libraries, and even in our homes.
That said, while we will take a deeper dive into the rest of the data a little later in this post, to understand why these ideas may be gaining traction with some boys, we also need to talk about a particularly gross corner of the internet known as the "manosphere."
Content note: Buckle your seatbelts, y’all. This part may get a little bumpy. While I have done my best not to dwell on the most sensational or disturbing elements of the content discussed below, I still encourage you to take care of your heart as you read on.
Taking the Red Pill: The Online World Influencing Our Boys
Let's start with a short primer.
The term manosphere refers to a loose network of online communities, influencers, and forums built around a shared belief that modern society has become hostile toward men and that feminism is largely to blame. Queer people and culture are also routinely targeted in these spaces. These communities often promote rigid ideas about masculinity and gender roles, frequently wrapped in the language of self improvement, dating advice, financial success, and physical fitness.
Within this context, accepting these ideas is regularly described as “taking the red pill,” a phrase borrowed from The Matrix that has since become a meme with a fascinating history of its own. In manosphere spaces, being “red pilled” means believing that society has deceived men about gender and power, and that only those who reject feminism and embrace hypermasculine dominance truly understand how the world works.
Importantly, the manosphere is not a single website or community. It is an interconnected web of podcasts, TikTok videos, YouTube channels, livestreams, and online forums. Some spaces are openly misogynistic. Others present themselves as motivational content aimed at helping young men become stronger, richer, or more confident. These communities include groups such as “men’s rights activists,” online forums that claim to teach men how to pick up women, incel communities, and influencers promoting, so-called, alpha male ideology.
And while the rhetoric can vary, the content often circulates through a recognizable set of creators with enormous online audiences. Some of the most visible figures* associated with this ecosystem include:
Andrew Tate
Sneako
The Fresh & Fit podcast (hosted by Myron Gaines)
Rollo Tomassi
Richard Cooper
Joe Rogan
and a range of streamers, podcasters, and influencers who frame masculinity as a competition for dominance, wealth, and sexual control.
Other creators, including figures who began in gaming, comedy, or general self help spaces, have been instrumental in introducing these ideas to millions of young men who may not initially be seeking political or ideological content.
In other words, boys rarely wake up one morning and decide to search for "misogyny" or "how to become alpha."
Rather, they begin encountering these ideas through repeated messaging embedded in other content. Here's an example of how these pathways can work:
a fitness video includes ads for a podcast that rails against feminism
the digital advertising for that podcast includes memes that reinforce ideas about what it means to be a "real man"
guests on that podcast connect their financial success to alpha maleness and suggest listeners follow them on TikTok for more tips on how to get rich quick or dominate your chosen field
watching videos from that content creator on TikTok results in a manosphere saturated FYP where the algorithm prioritizes content with similar messaging, which starts the cycle all over again
That said, even if we never mention alpha male media or any of the content creators listed above when working with kids, there is one reality we must reinforce: platforms such as YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram are not neutral delivery systems for information. Their algorithms are designed to maximize engagement. The longer we watch, scroll, comment, and share, the more our attention and engagement translate into advertising revenue.
In this way, the platforms through which our kids encounter alpha male (and other harmful) content are financially incentivized by engagement, even when that engagement can lead to radicalization.
This pattern is simple and incredibly effective.
First, we encounter content that inflames a strong, often unhealthy emotion. Those emotions create a sense of urgency that pushes us to engage by liking, sharing, commenting, following or screenshotting, etc. The algorithm reads that engagement as a signal and adjusts our feeds to show us more emotionally exploitative content. Rinse and repeat. The cycle continues again and again and again.
However, it is also worth noting that this content does not live exclusively on traditional social media platforms. Many of the same ideas circulate in gaming spaces where young people gather, including Discord servers connected to popular games and social worlds like Roblox. In these environments, memes, clips, and talking points travel easily through chat channels and private communities. For younger boys especially, these spaces can become an early introduction to the same rhetoric that later appears in podcasts, YouTube videos, and TikTok feeds.
Add to all of this a still-forming frontal lobe, and it becomes easier to see how many boys fall down these rabbit holes and struggle to climb back out. Still, there is more to this story than algorithms and brain development alone. The emotional reality that makes this type of content appealing to some young men in the first place is worth exploring, too.
*Note: I am choosing not to link directly to the content creators listed above for obvious reasons. If you are interested in learning more about the kinds of messages they share, this presentation may be helpful.
Hooked On A Feeling: Filling The Tenderness Vacuum
It should come as no surprise to longtime readers that my research into this topic has focused a great deal on the emotions connected to why some boys are drawn into digital communities like the manosphere. In an alternate universe somewhere, I’m probably pursuing a PhD in psychology with an emphasis on emotional exploitation in online environments. For now, though, I find myself increasingly curious about the human behavior that underpins these systems.
While it can be tempting to focus on the emotions regularly performed in the videos and podcasts produced by alpha male influencers, research into the manosphere consistently shows that many young men who are attracted to this content are not initially looking for misogyny or political ideology. Rather, when researchers asked young men why they were drawn to these spaces, their answers were strikingly consistent. They described feelings like:
loneliness
low self-esteem
isolation
pressure to “perform” masculinity
bullying
body insecurity
a desire for simple answers to complicated problems
In contrast to the complexity of these feelings and the questions they can spark, alpha male media often offers easy answers by:
oversimplifying complicated issues
implying that all/most problems have a simple, binary answer
identifying a clear enemy to blame for uncomfortable feelings or circumstances that may feel unfair. These enemy lists often include:
feminism and feminist movements
women who are portrayed as manipulative or disloyal
LGBTQIA+ communities
“woke” culture or diversity initiatives
pointing to an attainable goal (being alpha) that is positioned as the antidote to a world supposedly harmed by feminism and other inclusion efforts
offering a roadmap to becoming alpha
In many cases, this content also supplies a ready-made justification for harmful behavior under the familiar refrain of “boys will be boys.” In the manosphere, there is little need for introspection or empathy. If someone questions the behavior or attitudes encouraged in these communities, there can be only one explanation: they hate men.
For young people who feel confused, rejected, or invisible, that kind of certainty can be incredibly appealing. Once these messages take hold, they become easy to apply to other uncomfortable feelings, too:
If you are lonely, it must be because women only want alpha males.
If you feel scrutinized or challenged, it must be because feminism has stacked the deck against men.
If you feel insecure, the solution is simple. Become dominant. Become alpha.
The more time I spend researching this facet of information literacy, the more I feel that one of the reasons these messages resonate so strongly could be that many boys are already navigating a cultural script that discourages emotional vulnerability in the first place. In a powerful essay for The Paris Review, bona fide genius Ocean Vuong reflects on the subtle ways boys are taught to police one another’s emotional lives through the familiar phrase “no homo.” The phrase may be delivered as a joke, but its message is unmistakable. Boys learn early that tenderness, admiration, and emotional openness toward other men must be quickly disavowed. When vulnerability is framed as weakness, it leaves many boys with few socially acceptable ways to process the feelings they are already carrying. In that emotional vacuum, the manosphere’s promise of certainty, dominance, and belonging can become dangerously seductive.
The Stories We Tell: Books That Reimagine Masculinity
Last fall, I had the opportunity to moderate a panel at NCTE that I called Boys Will Be Boys: Reading, Centering, and Celebrating Books That Reinforce Healthy Depictions of Masculinity. The panel brought together a group of authors whose work I deeply admire in part because it centers boys and young men in ways that challenge the narrow, often harmful definitions of masculinity that dominate so much of our media landscape (within and outside of the manosphere).
When I first imagined the session, I was feeling particularly helpless in the face of many of the challenges we are navigating, both as humans and as educators. In that context, I hoped to create a space where teachers, librarians, and authors could sit with the complexity of this moment together. The questions we are grappling with are not small ones, y'all.
How do we support boys in developing empathy in a culture that often treats empathy as weakness?
How do we make space for vulnerability in environments that reward dominance?
And perhaps most urgently...
How do we help young people imagine healthier ways of being male when so many of the loudest voices online are pushing in the opposite direction?
I knew that none of these questions had simple answers. But I also knew, after thirty years working in education, that the stories we tell matter and that the lifeline of connection offered by reading and belonging to a reading community can be part of the answer.
In many ways, the stories we place in kids’ hands offer the very opposite of what the manosphere provides:
Books, regardless of their format, require our brains to slow down
Stories introduce nuance and uncertainty
They invite readers to sit with complicated emotions
They offer multiple paths through challenging situations
They help readers become comfortable with doubt and ambiguity
They remind us that we can carry heavy things, but that this work becomes easier when we have a community to help us
They center empathy and introspection, both key skills for navigating a fraught and divided world
They emphasize that belonging to a community comes with the responsibility to contribute
With all of this in mind, and in the context of the growing influence of alpha male media on our culture and politics, I invited several incredible authors to share how they seek to achieve these goals in their own writing. I am deeply grateful for what each of them brought to that conversation, and you will see many of their books in the recommendations below.
And speaking of recommendations, here are a few qualities I look for when selecting books that offer healthier, more expansive depictions of masculinity. I have also included a few examples of books that I love, though I am certain you will be able to identify many more from your own collections.
1. Male characters who are works in progress
Rather than presenting boys as heroes who already “have it figured out,” these stories allow male characters to make mistakes, reflect on them, and grow.
Examples: Chooch Helped by Andrea L. Rogers and Rebecca Lee Kunz (ES), The First State of Being by Erin Entrada Kelly (MS), The Great Cool Ranch Dorito in the Sky by Josh Galarza (HS)
2. Male characters who navigate big feelings in healthy (if sometimes imperfect) ways
Look for stories where boys experience grief, fear, jealousy, joy, or uncertainty and learn constructive ways to process those emotions.
Examples: Just Right by Torrey Maldonado (ES), Louder Than Hunger by John Schu (MS), Compound Fracture by Andrew Joseph White (HS)
3. Male characters who take responsibility for harm they cause, even (perhaps especially) when it is unintentional
Even when mistakes are unintentional, these stories show boys learning accountability and repair.
Examples: Sebastian Metzger Solves a Sticky Situation by Kyle Lukoff (ES), The Trouble With Heroes by Kate Messner (MS), Shampoo Unicorn by Sawyer Lovett (HS)
4. Male relationships that normalize and celebrate displays of male affection
Stories that highlight supportive friendships between boys and the other men in their lives help counter the idea that vulnerability is weakness.
Examples: With Dad by Richard Jackson and Brian Floca (ES), Benji Zeb Is a Ravenous Werewolf by Deke Moulton (MS), When We Ride by Rex Ogle (HS)
5. Male characters who question harmful expectations about masculinity
These stories allow boys to challenge the pressure to dominate, suppress emotions, or perform toughness.
Examples: I Got You by Derrick Barnes and Shamar Knight-Justice (ES), The Moon Without Stars by Chanel Miller (MS), Pedro & Daniel by Federico Erebia (HS)
6. Male characters who show empathy and care for others
Look for books where kindness, compassion, and curiosity about other people are treated as strengths rather than weaknesses.
Examples: A Place for Us by James Ransome (ES), The Travelers by Greg Howard (MS), Sunrise Nights by Jeff Zentner and Brittany Cavallaro (HS)
Of course, simply having these books on our shelves is not enough. Stories cannot do their essential work if young readers never discover them. In an age when algorithms aggressively promote content designed to exploit emotions, we must be just as intentional about helping readers encounter stories that prepare them for that world. This might look like book talks that highlight characters navigating big feelings, displays that celebrate empathy as a strength, shelf talkers that spark curiosity, or reading communities where boys can see themselves reflected in complicated, evolving characters.
Finally, just in case it’s useful to you, here is the slide deck I used for this session at NCTE.
Show Me The Data: What This Story Tells Us About Data Literacy
When I think about data literacy, especially in the context of the library world, I cannot help but be reminded of Kristin Fontichiaro, who once told me that one common misconception about data is that it provides answers. Rather, Kristin explained, the purpose of data is to lead us to new questions.
I mention this because the flood of messages that filled my inbox, which I described at the beginning of this post, got me asking some questions about the survey itself. I wondered:
Who commissioned the study? When?
Turns out, the research was conducted by Ipsos in partnership with the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s College London as part of their annual International Women’s Day research series. The survey was conducted between December 24, 2025 and January 9, 2026.
What were they hoping to learn?
The stated purpose of the study is to examine global attitudes toward gender equality, gender roles, and feminism, and to track how those views change over time and across generations. Put another way, the goal is to understand how public attitudes toward gender equality are shifting internationally.
What do we know about the sample?
The survey included 23,268 respondents across 29 countries. Countries included the United States, Canada, Great Britain, France, Japan, India, South Korea, Brazil, Mexico, and many others. Respondents included members of multiple generations, ranging from the Silent Generation (1925–1944) through Gen Z (1996–2012). For more on why the way data is collected matters, check out this series of videos from Crash Course and ASU.
How were the questions framed?
Questions were framed using a Likert scale. Participants were given a series of statements and asked to indicate whether they strongly agree, somewhat agree, somewhat disagree, or strongly disagree with each one.
One detail that caught my attention as I dug into the methodology was that respondents were not given a neutral option when answering the survey questions. Participants were asked to either agree or disagree with each statement, which means respondents were required to lean in one direction or the other.
That design choice does not invalidate the findings, but it is an important reminder that how questions are structured can shape how results appear. For example, let’s look at this statement:
While the presence of a neutral response option likely would not have changed the overall trend researchers identified, it may have narrowed the gap between generations.
It is also worth noting that while many media outlets have chosen to focus on the more alarming outcomes from the study (like the ones that landed in my inbox), researchers also shared other, less troubling findings. For example, majorities of respondents said they support gender equality and believe that having more women in leadership would benefit society. In other words, while the data certainly raises important concerns, it also reflects a generation wrestling with competing ideas about gender, power, and fairness rather than moving uniformly in a single direction.
Many young men today are navigating two very different narratives about masculinity at the same time: one rooted in dominance, grievance, and certainty, and another that invites empathy, equality, and shared responsibility. When we consider the influence of alpha male media and the ways manosphere ideology has seeped into more mainstream media, pop culture, and even our politics, the tension we see in these survey results seems, well, almost inevitable.
However, that tension requires more time and attention to excavate than a graph suggesting misogynistic ideology is rapidly growing among younger men. Similarly, the headline “Almost a third of Gen Z men agree a wife should obey her husband” is far more likely to spark emotionally driven engagement than one suggesting that many boys and young men are receiving mixed messages about masculinity from conflicting corners of the media. And that should give us pause.
This Is Over 500 Words, Y'all
Recently someone very confidently told me that “people won’t read anything that is over 500 words.” Not unlike Timothée Chalamet, who is currently having a bit of a FAFO moment after his recent comments about ballet and opera, I very much want to prove this person wrong.
But I digress.
If you have indeed read all the way to the end of this post, first: thank you! And second, I want to wrap things up with a recommendation. I am very excited about a documentary about the manosphere that will air on Netflix later this month. While I haven’t watched it yet, I am a longtime fan of Louis Theroux and am curious to see how he approaches this subject.
Enjoy!
